A Sad Defeat

We lost to Ghana in the FIFA World Cup. This is a very tragic event because it is the second time we've lost to them in said World Cup. Furthermore the Cup only comes around every 4 years so as you can see, this is doubly sad. But have you seen the weird victory dance the Ghanains do? Honestly, I've never seen something like that! They were moving their hips all over the place! Does that not strike you as even the slightest bit feminine? Also, this was the first soccer game I've watched. Yes, ever. Anyway, when the players started taking off their shirts I found it a little odd--it was supposed to be kinda cold over there. When they exchanged jerseys it started to make sense though. Back to the point--it was a sad and emotionally crushing defeat, particularly since the players might not be able to come back next time. And I mean, come on! We're the USA--we do NOT lose! What is this? I think the proper soundtrack for the end of the game is 'It's the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine)'

Cat vs. Pipe Cleaners

I believe at this point you are well acquainted with Fiona. She has lots of toys, accumulated over the course of several christmases--most are birds or mice. But she has gotten crafty and found a new toy in our craft room (get it now: crafty--craft room? eh?). She has found pipe cleaners. She believes these to be some strange alien creatures and I know this because she routinely attacks them. Every once in a while she pulls one of the craft room and pounces on it. She then jumps back, stares at it (flicking her tail viciously) and proceeds to pounce again. Usually when she bats at it the fuzzy wire skids a little and this supports her theory of "it's alive, I'm only defending the territory". So she "chases" it around the house, eventually growing bored and leaving it in the hallway. It then mysteriously disappears, which I suspect has something to do with the dog, Mae. So in the course of this epic battle I suppose Fiona wins because an inanimate object really can't win, can it?

Message in a...Puppy?

a puppy picture is a great way to communicate. The adorableness of the puppy prevents any anger from being cast upon you. For example:

If you want to be comforted:

If you want to make it clear your girlfriend is off limits to others:

If you want to exert influence over someone:

If you want to make it clear you have a learning disability:

Finally, if you want to make it clear you are the absolute center of attention at all times:

Do you see? Puppy messages are the best messages.

FIFA World Cup

The USA beat Algeria 1-0! Can you believe it? We won Group C, the first time since 1930! I really don't know much about sports so I'm just getting all of this from ESPN. It is very exciting, nonetheless. Landon Donovan, of Green Bay (Cheeseheads Unite!), scored the goal. It appears that it slipped out of the goalie's hands and he kicked it in the net. I know this because the boys in my health class made a big deal of it. We were at the grocery store (we honestly take field trips there; why?) and two boys come sprinting up the aisle. "We scored!" they yell, then jump on top of another kid.  And this is how I get all my information

Spencer

Here is the guest post that you so greatly anticipated! I believe you will enjoy it...

I have an energetic pet named Spencer....a proper and fitting name for a dog of English heritage. He is a Norwich terrier to be exact, a bouncy and lovable one. This is a paradox, really. Because he is so adorable, the mayhem he has caused in our household is overlooked and he is still special in our eyes. As our vet bills increase, so do his ploys. First it was the snake he swallowed. So be it, it was dead; it still was with great anxiety that I watched the episode. He was six months old and quickly swallowed the darn thing WHOLE! Oooooowe, must have tasted good. For that little antic, there was a visit to the vets and later another visit with severe intestinal problems. Shots and antibiotics were in order and two vet bills! Then there was the rubber mat under the Oriental rug, parts of which he promptly swallowed. My, how his taste buds fluctuate! Another trip to the vets was required and a stomach pumping. Everything came back up, so the intestinal track was spared this time. However, another billing was incurred.


As the cacophony of the tree frogs increases around the pool in the evenings, he has taken to nose butting the frogs into the pool with great delight... he took it just that tiny bit too far, though, when he swallowed one whole and alive! Didn't hear the frog squeak, but I did. Well, well, another trip to the vets for intestinal distress....more medication and another vet bill.

This is what the bible refers to as Agape love! Love, love, love the little critter except for his BAD BREATH....frog breath to be exact. Need I explain more?

PS I have just purchased meat flavored tooth paste and a doggie tooth brush. I think it will work if he doesn't swallow it.

--Random Walker


edited by Kelsey ;)

Introducing the Random Walker

I would like to introduce a guest poster: the Random Walker. She chose this when asked to select a name because "that should describe the randomness in which I think half the time….can”t run…just walk!". She will be doing a couple guest posts every once in a while. It will still say that I posted it but I will sign it Random Walker for your benefit. There will probably be a post by her up tomorrow, but that is dependent on if I get around to editing it.

Helicopters

I heard that in the '80s girls would pull their hair into ponytails on top of their heads. I (and pretty much everyone I know) find that this is incredibly odd. Honestly, why would you want hair shooting out of the top of your head like a wilted corn stalk? But we have recently discovered one good use for it: helicopters. Helicopters go like this: when you spin your head, the hair goes around like the blades of a helicopter. When I say helicopter you may think of this:

I have been trained by Mario to think of this:

But that is another story. Anyway, doing helicopter with your hair is trés amusant and is good for your neck muscles. Possibly. I mean, you are rolling your neck but not like how you roll your ankle, more like how you loosen your neck in stretches. Moving right along: if you are ever tired or giddy or anything really, try the hair helicopter. It will take your mind off anything and release energy. I think I might try to patent it:

The Hair Helicopter

Good for any time or place: One ponytail holder and you're good to go!

Okay, so you probably can't patent hairstyle; this may be more than just a hairstyle. Ish. Or not.

Isn't this interesting? You've learned about my mental image of helicopters AND what to do with your hair when you are bored. I'm sure you're just in awe at how in intellectual this post is. Anywho, ta-ta.

Saturday(ish) Quotes

I have been lagging on my Saturday Quotes so I thought I would catch up:

Math Teacher: "What do police mean when they say 'perp'?"
Class: "Perpendicular!"
Math Teacher: "POLICE."

"I was playing the flugle horn."
"...You have to play it to be worthy of the cheesehead*."

"There's a baby picture of a caveman and they think it's you."

"Before you criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes. Then if you criticize them you'll be a mile away and have their shoes."

"Because in France if you don't have time to go to a restaurant you might as well die."

"We are misnamed addition aardvark buddies."

"My grandmother invented the spork."

"How do you speak Spanish in Latin?"

"I put Spanish exclamations on my math homework."

"His nose is in his face!"

Feel free to submit some of your own in the comments.

*this is a Greenbay Packer reference

Fiona- the Birdy

A bit more about her and cats in general. Fiona is usually very sweet and only claws me to death when I hold her for too long or it's mealtime. The problem with cats is their insane nature. It is unavoidable--the furry freak gene is not recessive. So a couple days ago my mother had found two beautiful hawk feathers. Being the Harry Potter nerd I am, I planned to use them as quills. Unfortunately, Fiona found them and probably thinks they are birds. I later discovered them on the floor, savaged and cased in cat saliva. This has happened three times now and they are mauled beyond repair. This has brought me to the conclusion that Fiona is a menace with fur. A really, really cute menace, but still one nonetheless. This is the ultimate flaw of cats- they have this instinct to destroy everything within 5 feet of the ground. Now I am faced with the inexplicable-ness of loving an adorable feline psychopath.

Oil Spill

Today, I'd like you all to take a moment of silence for the Oil Spill. You see, I am particularly sad today because the beach that my family visits in Florida has been overcome; there are tar balls floating in the water. Did you know there are people in Florida who are swimming in the oil? Does this not seem like a very creative form of suicide? If someone so much as lit a match you'd be an inferno in a matter of seconds. So please, pray for these poor souls--the people who are foolish, the people whose livelihoods have been destroyed, and the people whose vacation homes have been lost (that would be me). And if you don't pray, take this moment to grieve (or something like that; maybe 'omm' or bang your head against a wall as a sign of anguish, I really don't know). P.S. this post should make the word 'bp' synonymous with the word 'havoc' or 'chaos'

Cannot vs. Can not

Have you ever thought about the difference between the two? No? Well, that just confirms the fact that I'm strange, so nothing new. But anyway, this is one of those things that makes me think the English language is whacked out. How do people learn English? Back to the point: you see, one means 'incapable of doing' and the other means 'has the ability not to'. It's such a tiny difference, it doesn't really matter but still. I wonder how many words there would be if we broke down all those tiny inconsistencies into new words. Far too many is the answer you are searching for.

Call of Duty

Today, my brother tried to teach me how to play CODMOD (Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2). He showed me how to aim, run around, and shoot. This is really all you need to know. So I was running around in an online game, trying to keep looking straight ahead, and I wandered into a greenhouse. Whilst trying to find the exit, I was knifed. I'm pretty sure that was the first kill of the game. When the kill cam played, it showed me turning in circles and staring at the ceiling. The opponent then ran, stabbed, and ran again. I think I might need a bit more practice.